It all began eight years ago. But it’s eight days to go. In another eight days, President Muhammadu Buhari will be another ex-president bound for a quieter life in the bandit-harassed Northwestern town of Daura, his hometown – which is just a whistling distance away from za other place he loves so much, Niger Republic. He recently warned everyone who cared to listen that he would simply take a stroll into Niger if anyone dared to disturb his peace while he is reluctantly relaxing in Daura. Actually, with the prodigious development of the place by the Federal Government at his behest, that other place should most reasonably be more attractive to our outgoing president. And there is a chance also that those bloody bandits that have infinitely violated the land and people of Daura at will despite the fact that a son of the soil is the Commander-in-Chief of the military of Africa’s most populated country, will not dare go close to his hideout in za other country. By now, he has most probably made za other place a haven fit for presidential retirement…..CONTINUE READING...CONTINUE READING
But what would he be thinking about at his quiet time which, I assume, will be very long (and dreary) – shorn of the fawning and bootlicking that make The Villa such an interesting place?
To be sure, he won’t read the papers – the legendary OBJ who once walked the same road found it most edifying at one point to boast that he wouldn’t be caught reading Nigerian newspapers even though he later found it necessary to publish press statements and ‘open letters’ in the same Nigerian newspapers. Buhari, whose media aides have told us love joking, will probably spend most times enjoying skits by the rising generation of millionaire jokers while enjoying his beloved mutton, washed down with kunu, not forgetting to select a good toothpick – as we have seen in that memorable photo where he was seen ensconced in a rocking chair in Aso Rock sitting room in the early days of his second coming. He won’t bother himself with Nigerian newsmongers – those ones only have uncharitable things to say about him. If he is at all hungry for news, he will tune in to the Hausa service of the BBC. Ah, that veritable medium which became his weapon as a talakawa dissident in those far away days when he was trying to return to power, a poorly remodelled democrat. That’s a memory he would cherish forever, especially after those miserable and tensed pre- 2015-election days when he was spitting fire about some poor dog and baboon being soaked in blood. That was before that miraculous victory which prioritised balloting by underaged throngs and cross-border voters. He would never forget that historic platitude by Goodluck Jonathan which shut down Elder Orubebe’s ‘infantile’ protest: “My ambition is not worth the blood of any citizen”. That’s right. The Ijaw man didn’t want dogs and baboons to be soaked in blood, which was just well because those boys from Niger and Chad were already waiting in the wings to strike. Memories, memories, memories. He had actually got the chance, and as soon as he had sat on that rocking chair, he forgot all the days of yore. Ambition achieved. He had promptly handed power over to the Kyari man who knew what to do with power of such magnitude while he allowed his ambitious nephews, ill-mannered minions, and political toadies to resume and close from work every day in The Villa even when they had no official titles. He would recall very well what he told Michelle of ‘West Germany’ when Aisha’s complaints were reaching the international community. She belongs to za other room. This memory will actually crack him up, and he will say to Aisha, “Wallai, I meant it. Women should retire to za other room when elections are over.”
All this actually started some eight years ago, and now is eight days to go. He will remember all the countries he toured and those foreign journalists who almost confused him with their questions which made him to humbly seek help from taprita even when the questions were asked in English. He would remember also firing long shots that didn’t relate to the questions even after help from taprita.
How will he forget those frequent trips to his oyinbo doctors (despite a N21bn health facility in The Villa) which Nigerian journalists soon described as medical tourism? Especially that long visit after they tried to snuff the life out of him with airborne poison in The Villa! May Allah be praised that he survived it all.
But he won’t remember some things. For instance, it will be needless to remember that in 2015, when he came in, deficits in the annual budgets, including supplementary budgets, was just N1.62trn but rose to N10.78trn in 2023, as he is exiting. And he won’t care to remember that most of the deficits have been funded through local and external borrowing.
He won’t care to remember that in terms of composition, the total domestic debt stock at the time of leaving office is N27.55 trillion ($61.42 billion), while the total external debt stock is N18.7 trillion (41.6 billion dollars), excluding the N22.7trn Federal Government’s indebtedness to the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) through the Ways and Means advances.
He won’t care to remember that despite the already worrisome debt load, he still sought a loan of USD800m from the World Bank.
Buhari certainly won’t care to remember that total revenue for the eight years he was in power was N32.05trn, and that total expenditure during the period was N68.8 trillion, indicating deficit spending of N36.8 trillion.
Will he care to remember that over 22 per cent of the eight-year deficit spending was incurred in 2022 alone.
Will he remember that fuel subsidy spending in the eight years was N9.34trn, and that owing to his laxities annual fuel subsidy spending shot up by 571 per cent to N4.39 trillion in 2022 from N654 billion in 2015?
Will Buhari remember that his government, in March 2021, appropriated $1.5bn for the repair of the Port Harcourt Refinery, promising that 18 months after the refinery would be able to deliver 90% of its nameplate capacity, and that it’s over 24 months now but nothing is coming out of that company?
Will he remember that he had come into office in 2015 with promises to asphyxiate corruption, minimize insecurity, and develop the agricultural sector?
He wouldn’t possibly forget that corruption has since the last eight years become Nigeria’s other name among decent nations and that it is walking the street now with more swag than ever before, and that his own government is reeking with the stench of excess public thievery while he insists on looking the other way, even in the face of declamations by civil groups.
Also, he won’t possibly forget that insecurity rose in his eight years in power to unimaginable heights that have seen whole villages wiped away by herdsmen while terrorists abduct women and girls at will and bomb markets and churches with impunity.
Again, Buhari won’t forget that in his time, Nigeria has been ceaselessly harangued by incendiary ethnic forces which have committed atrocities that have shaken the country to its very foundation.
And, finally, we are too sure that the outgoing president is tremendously aware that the cost of foodstuffs has risen over 500% in the last eight years, and that because of its uncoordinated cash dash, the CBN-sponsored agricultural programmes have yielded no gains but pains?
As you retire to Daura in the next few days, I can only assure you, Mr. President, that I never expected anything great from you, that I was never one of those who believed in your leadership ability after seeing what you did with the Petroleum Trust Fund (PTF). You only proved me right. If you had not been given the chance to unleash your vindictiveness, many Nigerians would have called you ‘the president Nigeria never had’. Thank you for demystifying yourself. We now know who was truly in control when you first came in 1983 and some people thought the world of you. But it’s really been a painful journey; now it’s coming to a well-deserved end.
In your reflective moments, remember that you left Nigeria worse off than you met it, and that your undemocratic government was an accident that should never have happened to us. Remember this and all the gory details of your wrecking of the ship of state. Just remember and be humble. Let thy household and all your propaganda machine that fought against the truth for eight years realise their treachery and be humble also.
I wish you all you have wished us these several seasons…..CONTINUE READING
