My Parents Were Married For 32 Years Until Dad Died, Mom Doesn’t Want To Attend The Funeral - 247Updates
Connect with us

Breaking News

My Parents Were Married For 32 Years Until Dad Died, Mom Doesn’t Want To Attend The Funeral

Published

on

For the past two weeks, I’ve been sharing the same room with my mom. I sleep next to her on the same bed. I only have one job, that’s to ensure that she’s alright and she doesn’t do anything funny to herself. She hardly sleeps. She might close her eyes and pretend she’s sleeping but I see through the pretence.…CONTINUE READING

When she sleeps she snores gently. When she’s pretending to sleep, that snore is absent. Instead, she’ll turn around and around until morning. Some nights, she sneaks out of the room to the hall and cries. I see her going out but I don’t follow her because there’s nothing in the hall she can use to hurt herself. She would be there, sobbing and calling out the name of my father.

There are two reasons why she cries. My dad is dead and he’s in the morgue as I write this. They’ve been married for thirty-two years and I’m their first child. I have two other siblings.

According to my mom, their marriage was arranged. It was their families that came together and decided that the two of them should get married. My dad loved my mom from day one. My mom didn’t love him. According to her, there was already a man in her life. A man that she loved with all her heart. So when her family came with that arrangement, she protested. She fought it with all her heart until her dad told her, “We are not forcing you to marry him. We are only saying he’s a better man for you. He’s one of us and we’ve seen his progress but if you say no, we won’t force you.”

My dad at that time was madly in love with my mom so he was left to fight for her. My dad dressed up every evening and went to see my mom. Because of my mom, he changed his church and attended my mom’s church just to be closer to her. The other guy my mom wanted to marry was also in the same church.

Advertisement

It became a competition between them. The other guy at some point felt threatened and started accusing my mom of cheating. She told him, “No, I’m not cheating on you. He’s just someone who wants me but I’ve told you I don’t want him.” The guy asked, “If you don’t want him then why is he always around you?”.

My dad’s strategy was simple. “Just stay close to her. Don’t push it. Don’t force her into it. Closeness usually does the magic.” So he stayed close to her until the other guy walked out of the relationship with my mom. It took two years to succeed. At that time he had become a friend to my mom. My mom said she accused him of breaking up her relationship. My dad answered, “I only came for what I want. If he really loved you as I do, he wouldn’t be the one to walk away.” So my mom fell for his effort and later fell in love with him.

A few months later, they got married in my mother’s church. My dad was free to leave the church on his own but he said, “This is where I found her so this is where I will stay. Before he died, my father was the church elder, a position he held for over ten years.

A year after their marriage, I came along. Three years after I’d arrived, my junior brother came along. They went on a break for six years before the youngest of our siblings also came along. Growing up, dad was there for us.

Advertisement

Our mom was the tough one so we ran away from her often. Dad never hit us. He’ll scream and threaten us but will never throw his hand. Mom will throw both her hand and her words at us. Break a plate and she’ll break your skin. Go out and don’t come early and you’ll come and meet her with a cane in front of the door. The only one who came to our rescue was our father so we always wanted to be in his presence.

I never heard my dad raising his voice at my mom. You only have to see my dad looking at my mom to see the kind of love he had for her. When my mom was in a bad mood, that’s where my dad would start playing with her.

He would tease her with old stories; “Thess, you remember the day your mom fell down when she was climbing the stairs?” That story never left his mouth. We were not there when it happened but if you ask anyone of us, we’ll be able to give you all the details as if we were there. That’s because dad never stopped talking about it. Mom would get defensive and say, “That’s not what happened…” She’ll go ahead and narrate exactly what happened.

There was love in our house—I mean love in abundance. That kind of love was reflected in my parents’ lives wherever they went. While dad was serving as the church elder, mom was also the president of the women’s fellowship. When it came to marriage issues, my parents’ marriage became the yardstick for all the youth in the church.

Advertisement

Both my mom and dad were on the counselling committee of the church. A committee responsible for counselling couples who are about to get married. Because of my parents’ position in the church, we were treated with respect and a lot of kids looked up to us.

My dad fell and broke his leg when he was fifty-five years old. Old bones take time to heal so my dad was down for a very long time until he started walking again. He walked with staff at first until he could learn to walk without it.

The bone was healed but anytime the weather was cold, he complained of pains at the place where he broke his leg. My mom teased him about suffering from rheumatism. She couldn’t pronounce the word very well so it sounded like “Romanticism.” When my dad was down in pain, my mom would scream, “Eiiiii Mr Romanticism. You won’t stop worrying our ears with this niggling pain.”

After that, she would be around him, going up and down until my dad would get better. One day he complained of the same pain. He received the same level of teasing from my mom. My mom tried all the tricks she had learned over the years to heal him but it got worse. He was rushed to the hospital one dawn and dad never came back again. He was sixty-one years old.

Advertisement

The whole community was thrown into a state of mourning. The church mourned him every Sunday and for one week straight, people rushed to our house to come and mourn with us. It was difficult looking at my mother. We had lost a father. That was all we lost but my mom lost a husband, a friend, a companion in the journey of life and a soldier who led with a shield to protect her.

She never stopped crying but she never made an attempt to hurt herself. She could go to bed alone and wake up the next morning and mourn. I didn’t have any reason to sleep next to her because what she was going through was a normal reaction. Love fills us with joy but when it’s no longer there, its place is occupied by severe pain—a pain it would take a lifetime to heal.

The pain was manageable. Each new day brought a balm that tried to slowly soothe the pain away.

It was my dad’s one-week rite when a woman walked to the family table and started talking to the head of the family. My mom was seated right next to the head of the family so she could hear what was being discussed. The discussion was getting serious so the family head told the woman to wait until the rite is over so they could talk about what she brought.

Advertisement

The family heads sat with the woman while my mom was in the room trying to catch some sleep. The woman’s mission was simple. She said, “The man we are mourning today is also the father of my first child. I came here today to tell you about it so he wouldn’t be a lost seed.” Everyone called her a liar. My mom was called into the meeting and her first question was, “Who sent you here today to desecrate the memory of a good man? Who sent you?” .

They were all shouting and calling the woman a liar until the child she was talking about walked in. Everyone went quiet. My mom walked slowly toward him and touched his face and beard. He was like the ghost of my father. My mom asked him, “How old are you? He answered, “I’m thirty.” My mom retorted, “You’re older than my first child? How come? What happened? What went wrong?” My mom burst out crying while walking out of the scene. I was right at the corner watching proceedings. I burst out crying too and started questioning the integrity of the man we had always known as the hero of our story.

The rest of the affair was handled by the heads of the family. We were later told the woman had been asked to go and come after the funeral. A week later, another woman resurfaced. She came with a lady.

The lady is twenty-seven years old. She also had a striking resemblance to my dad. If she stands next to me, we would be called twins. My mom had had enough so she packed her bag and left the house. I followed her trying to bring her back home. She was crying. She was breaking down bit by bit but there was nothing I could do. She kept saying, “No, this is just a dream. This can’t be true. Nooo, I’m dreaming.”

Advertisement

Nothing I said could bring her back. She picked up a car and landed in her hometown. The following day, I travelled with my other siblings to our hometown to be with her. We’ve been here since. The family had called her to return. They had sent delegates to convince her to return but she tells them, “That man isn’t the man I married.

My whole marriage to him was a lie so let his death also be a lie. I’m not coming today or tomorrow. How do you expect me to face the world after everything? How do you expect me to face the church which held us in high esteem? How do you expect me to be at peace knowing what I know now? He’s your family. You can bury him without my presence. I’m not coming anywhere.”

My mom had been here since, crying herself to sleep every night, trying to commit suicide twice at our blindspot. It’s the reason I sleep next to her. I can’t do much to reduce the pain in her heart but I can watch her at night so she doesn’t do anything bad to herself.

When she cries I asked myself, “What is she crying for? For the death of her husband or for the embarrassment she has to face? It’s only her who can answer the question. Our father’s funeral is in three weeks. Our job now is to get her to attend the funeral because all of us have to be there to mourn the man who made everything possible including this grand deception.

Advertisement
PAY ATTENTION: HOW TO MAKE $150 PER DAY WITH THIS SIMPLE TRICK
 
   
 
Continue Reading
Advertisement
Advertisement
Breaking News22 seconds ago

BREAKING: Businesses linked to late Access Bank CEO Herbert Wigwe

Breaking News10 mins ago

Limpopo man kidnapped, brutally murdered while accompanying a woman to relieve herself in bushes

Politics29 mins ago

BREAKING: Former Nigerian Head of State, Gowon, Declines FG and ECOWAS’ Invitation to Address Crisis

Relationship32 mins ago

I Proposed Marriage And She Ran Away, Now She’s Back Using Her Daughter As A Bait

Politics36 mins ago

BREAKING: Politicians Who Could Not Get Power Through Ballot Working To Plunge Nigeria Into Anarchy – Shettima

Entertainment37 mins ago

NEWS: “Grandpa of Over 70, Where Were u?” Verydarkman Calls Out Charly Boy Over Proposed Protest

Politics41 mins ago

Breaking: Finally, Federal Government Grants NLC 1 Wish

AFCON42 mins ago

I’m A Nigerian – Man City Star Defender Defends Why He Has Super Eagles Logo Tattooed On His Arm

Politics43 mins ago

BREAKING: Pres Tinubu decries mismanagement of Nigeria’s assets, promises to unlock trillions in public wealth

Politics55 mins ago

BREAKING: Anambra Shippers Association, ASA tasks FG, South-East govs to make Onitsha River Port functional

Breaking News1 hour ago

BREAKING: Group raises the alarm over presence of Hamas chief in Nigeria, warns of security implications

Breaking News1 hour ago

He had a knife, I had a stick and I beat him mercilessly – Woman recounts how she fought armed thief

Breaking News1 hour ago

“She said aunty you’re beautiful and I was smiling before I realized my phone was gone” — Lady shares how little girl complimented her and stole her phone

Entertainment2 hours ago

“If you know you know” – Reactions as Cubana Chief Priest gives Nedu ‘tortoise’ to produce money

Entertainment2 hours ago

How 50 Cent flogged, chased P-Square, other Nigerian artists out of backstage – Eedris Abdulkareem

Breaking News2 hours ago

My father is still alive; I have a lot to be grateful for

AFCON2 hours ago

BREAKING: “He’s made me who I am today as a player” -Jordan Ayew pays emotional tribute to departed Crystal Palace manager Roy Hodgson

AFCON2 hours ago

BREAKING: Barcelona Legend Praises Super Eagles Winger As Better Dribbler Than Messi, Ronaldinho, and Robben

Breaking News2 hours ago

BREAKING: Reduce Prices Of Cement Or Face Border Opening for cement importation-Minister Of Housing And Urban Development Caunton Manufacturers.

Breaking News2 hours ago

BREAKING: Residents Blocks Dangote’s Truck Carrying Bags of Rice and Loot It Empty

Entertainment2 hours ago

BREAKING: “I’m also an orphan” – Actress Nkechi Blessing tells Davido as he prepares to donate N300M to orphanages in Nigeria

Politics2 hours ago

BREAKING: Vice President Shettima confirms interception of forty-five trucks moving maize out of Nigeria

Breaking News2 hours ago

Hardship: Tinubu cannot speak now because APC caused our problems – Senator Daniels

Relationship2 hours ago

No Matter How Desperate You Are, You Should Never Date These Kinds Of Women

Breaking News3 hours ago

BREAKING: No Nation Can Wage War On Israel (Photos)

Breaking News3 hours ago

BREAKING: Burkina Faso leader warns Tinubu and ECOWAS that they are prepared to fight

Breaking News3 hours ago

“Marriage is now a business, never take your wife abroad without prenup” – Lady advises

Politics3 hours ago

We Are Not Protesting, We Love President Tinubu’s Administration – Igbo Men Celebrate (Watch Video)

Breaking News3 hours ago

Hardship: Hunger may provoke Nigerians to revolt against Tinubu’s administration, says Northern Youth Leader

Breaking News3 hours ago

It Was Ndigbo’s Turn To Rule But We Were Robbed; Let Nigerians Deal With Their Hardship – IPOB Warns South-Easterners Against Hardship Protests

Relationship3 hours ago

25 Ways To Forget Your Ex

Relationship3 hours ago

33 Signs He Wants To Marry You (What You Need To Look For)

Relationship3 hours ago

How To Be A Good Mother – 25 Qualities

Relationship3 hours ago

26 Signs That Your Relationship Is Over

Relationship3 hours ago

How To Know If She’s The One: 15 Clear Signs That Indicate It

Relationship3 hours ago

29 Signs That A Taurus Man Is In Love With You

Breaking News3 hours ago

BREAKING: Chizoba Wigwe, Wife of Herbert Wigwe, Built One of Nigeria’s Largest Construction Companies

Relationship3 hours ago

What Makes A Man Fall Deeply In Love With A Woman?

Relationship3 hours ago

25 Ways To Make Your Girlfriend Feel Loved And Special

Relationship3 hours ago

21 Things Men Want In A Relationship Desperately

Relationship3 hours ago

25 Signs He Wants To Start A Relationship With You

Relationship3 hours ago

251 Ways To Say Thank You

Relationship4 hours ago

20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship

Relationship4 hours ago

27 Qualities That Men Look For In A Woman

Relationship4 hours ago

Dear Men, Stop Thinking Of Condoms When You See Women, You Can Actually Do This Instead – Nigeria Lady

Politics4 hours ago

BREAKING: Kano State House of Assembly Orders Refund of N260 Million by State Agencies for Misappropriation

Breaking News4 hours ago

BREAKING: Tinubu Led Government Threatens To Open Border For Cement Importation

Health7 hours ago

Ladies :Why You Should Eat Avocado When Pregnant

Health7 hours ago

3 Healthy Reasons Why You Should Eat Catfish

Breaking News7 hours ago

JUST-IN: Herdsmen Allegedly Destroy Rice Farm In Saki, Stakeholders Condenm Act

Breaking News14 hours ago

BREAKING: Tinubu Has Put Smiles on the Faces of Nigerians, Citizens Are the Cause and Beneficiaries of Their Own Problems — Anambra APC Chieftain

Health1 day ago

Don’t Drink Coke If You Have Any Of These 3 Medical Conditions.

Health1 day ago

If You Eat Two Bananas Per Day For A Month, This is What Will Happen To Your Body

Breaking News7 hours ago

BREAKING: Food Prices Drop In Kano, Taraba, Kwara, Niger

Breaking News1 day ago

BREAKING: Dangote Kicks As State Arrests Its Trucks Over Alleged Diversion Of Cement To Cameroon

Health1 day ago

Stop Boiling Meat With These Two Ingredients, They Damage Your Liver

Breaking News19 hours ago

BREAKING: Haiti’s Former First Lady is Indicted in Her Husband’s Assassination

Health1 day ago

4 Foods You Can Eat To Help Shrink Swollen Prostate

Politics2 days ago

JUST-IN: He is Hungry for More Power & Want to become the Richest President in the World – Asiwaju Tinubu has no time for angry, hungry Nigerians – Buhari

Health1 day ago

3 Ways Sex Can Benefit Your Body

Breaking News13 hours ago

BREAKING: “The Most Clueless Government In The History Of Nigeria. Tinubu Is Fighting FX Issues With Guns”- Deji Adeyanju Reacts As EFCC Officials Open Fire On BDC Operators In Abuja

Health7 hours ago

Drink This And Say Goodbye To Joint, Legs And Back Pains In Less Than 7 Days

Health1 day ago

What Happens If You Swallow a Watermelon Seed

Health1 day ago

Does urinating after intercourse prevent pregnancy

Health1 day ago

One Drink You Should Avoid Taking In Your 40s, 50s And Above To Keep Your Liver Safe

Health7 hours ago

Ladies :Why You Should Eat Avocado When Pregnant

Health7 hours ago

Late Night Eating Is Unhealthy But If You Must, Eat These 3 Foods Instead to Maintain Good Health

Health7 hours ago

3 Healthy Reasons Why You Should Eat Catfish

Breaking News7 hours ago

JUST-IN: Herdsmen Allegedly Destroy Rice Farm In Saki, Stakeholders Condenm Act

Health1 day ago

5 Medical Problems That Can Be Prevented By Eating Watermelon Every day

Breaking News2 days ago

Meet 2 African Presidents Who Were Shot And Killed By Their Trusted Personal Guards

Breaking News13 hours ago

BREAKING: Alleged Mastermind in Murder of Rivers DPO, SP Bako Angbashim, Suspected to be Deceased

Health1 day ago

Drink Boiled Onion And Lemon Juice Twice A Day To Cure These Diseases

Health1 day ago

Soak Onions In Water Overnight and Drink It On An Empty Stomach If You Want This Thing To Happen

Breaking News2 days ago

BREAKING: 2Baba ‘Shot Dead’ in Rivers

Breaking News18 hours ago

4 Things That Keep Men Poor For The Rest Of Their Lives

Breaking News2 days ago

I Regret Choosing To Be A Lesbian And Dating Married Women And Young Girls, My Parents Fell Sick Because Of This

Health7 hours ago

Health Problems You Can Treat By Eating Sugarcane Regularly

Health7 hours ago

Signs A Man is Suffering From Small Private Organ Syndrome & Helpful Tips

Health1 day ago

Here Are Types Of Foods You Should Start Eating If You Get Older

Health7 hours ago

Ways To Control High Blood Pressure

Health7 hours ago

4 Stroke Warning Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore

Breaking News2 days ago

FG Sends Strong Message To Primary School Boy Who Tackled Tinubu For Causing Hardship, Nigerians React

Breaking News2 days ago

I Am 53 Years Old Now, I Have Never Been Married Or Slept With A Man Because Of My Mother’s Condition (Watch Video)

Breaking News14 hours ago

“Resign Now” – Protest Sweeps FCT Abuja Over Tinubu’s Ineptitude in Delivering the Dividends of Democracy Months After Assuming Office as

Health7 hours ago

5 Things You Might Be Doing That Can Harm Your Kidneys

Breaking News12 hours ago

BREAKING: “On top this thing I go march for 10 hours” – Corps member fumes over meal she got at NYSC orientation camp

Breaking News1 day ago

Police Arrest Man While Attempting to Facilitate Medical Assistance For Suspect With Gunshot Injury

Health1 day ago

Reasons Men Should Always Eat Garlic Once In A While

Health1 day ago

3 Reasons Why You Don’t Add Weight Even Though You Eat A Lot

AFCON18 hours ago

Olympic Qualifier: Cameroon release squad for Super Falcons

Breaking News13 hours ago

BREAKING: We Were in Bed Together Basking, When He Took My Hands And Told Me About His Secrets Plans

Politics1 day ago

If You Are Too Slim, Eat These Foods To Gain More Weight

Breaking News13 hours ago

BREAKING: Enugu police Commissioner orders arrest of native doctor in viral videos performing acts of cruelty on animals in his shrine

Breaking News2 days ago

I Regret Sleeping With My Caretaker Who Has A Family Because I Could Not Afford To Pay Rent And Don’t Want To Go Back Home Because

Health1 day ago

Health Benefits of Coconut Water And Bitter Kola Mixture

Politics7 hours ago

BREAKING: Tinubu Admitted To Me He Had No Blueprints On How To Govern Nigeria — Former APC Campaign Director

Health7 hours ago

Do Men Really Hit Menopause Just As Women Do

Breaking News18 hours ago

Top 10 African Countries With The Lowest Population At The Outset Of 2024

Breaking News2 days ago

BREAKING: Forex Reforms Paying Off, There’s Light Ahead — CBN Governor Says His Job Is The World’s Second Toughest

Trending