I was in my final year in nursing school when I found out that Richard was cheating on me. It would have been forgivable if it was with one person. He was just going about doing it with whomever he wanted. The annoying thing was that he wasn’t even discreet about it. Everyone who knew we were together knew what he was doing....CONTINUE READING THE ARTICLE FROM THE SOURCE
I received several phone calls and messages from different people. “Kyerewa, I saw your man with a short woman with big boobs. Do you know her?” Another time it was, “Richard came home with a fair slim lady.
She spent the night with him.” Because of this, I panicked whenever I received a phone call from my neighbours and friends. I didn’t know if I was going to get another report on Richard’s indiscretions.
As time went on, he got worse. So I decided to just end the relationship with him. There was no point in hoping he would change. That was when I met Patrick. Patrick was the exact opposite of Richard. He was gentle and soft-spoken but firm, and respectful. He treated me like a rare gem. When he asked me to be his girlfriend I had just broken up with Richard. I know that some people would say that I should have taken my time to heal, but the truth is when you meet the right person you just know it. And everything about Patrick was right. He is the kind of man who pushes me to achieve my dreams and allows me room to grow. He never looked at another woman whenever we were together. He had eyes for only me, and it is such a beautiful feeling.
After I finished school, I went to Richard’s place to pack my stuff. The plan was to just get my stuff and get out. But you know what they say about old flames. Things got heated between us, and we ended up having shuperu. I didn’t want to tell Patrick what happened, out of fear of losing him. And truly, I would have kept my mouth shut and prayed to God for forgiveness. But life had other plans. Shortly after my encounter with Richard, I found out that I was pregnant. I knew the child was his. So I had to come clean to Patrick. When I first told him about it, he was angry. He felt betrayed and disappointed. “How did you allow this to happen? And now there’s even evidence. Well, you are a nurse. You know drugs so let’s fix it. Let’s delete the evidence your idiot ex left you with.” I told him, “You can’t say that. This is a human life. Yes, it was a mistake that conceived it but I’m keeping it. Someone told me that if I get rid of a pregnancy, I won’t conceive again. I don’t know how true that is but I’m not going to tempt fate. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me.”
Richard on the hand did not disappoint me with his reaction. When I shared the news with him he said, “You broke up with me, remember? So I don’t want you back. I am also not ready to be a father.” I told him I didn’t want him back either. “I just want you to know that the child I’m carrying is yours. Whatever you do with the information is up to you.” I then took some time away from both men to process my own feelings about the pregnancy. While I was dealing with everything, Patrick came to see me. His anger was long gone, but his eyes still held the shadows of disappointment. “This is quite a messy situation, isn’t it?” He said. “I am not going to pretend that I am not hurt by this, because I am. But my feelings for you haven’t changed. I still love you and I want to be here for you. I am not ready for us to be a couple while you have another man’s baby living inside you. However, I will support you until the baby comes and then we will know what to do.”
It was hard to believe that a man I cheated on, was willing to support me. I thought he was just saying something so I don’t feel bad. I was certain that he would wake up one day and decide to change his mind. But he surprised me. Patrick stood by me as though he was the father of my child. He showed up for antenatal visits and helped me make decisions about the baby. Although things were not perfect between us, he made sure that I felt loved. And when the baby came, we talked about ourselves and our future. We agreed to give our relationship another try, and then I would use my nursing qualifications to help both of us travel abroad. He encouraged me to register for IELTS and I did. When the results came out I had a score of 6.5, when I was supposed to get 7. Due to our research, I wouldn’t be able to work as a nurse unless I rewrite the exams and score at least 7. The other alternative is to use the score I already had and apply for a caregiver job.
Patrick didn’t like that, so he asked me to rewrite the exams. I asked him, “What’s the guarantee that I would get the right score a second time? Let’s just work with what we have and save cost.” While we were deciding this, his friend who lives in the UK said he could help me travel to the UK with my current score. But the cost involved would allow only me to travel. Patrick didn’t like that either, “How do I know that you won’t forget about me when you get there? I don’t want you to leave me behind.” I was surprised he would think like that, “Patrick, you have done for me what no man has ever done for me. You were there for me in my low moments. Why on earth would I leave you behind? I just have to get to the UK, work and help you join me. If you trust me, we can pull this off.”
That seems to be the problem, trust. He forgave me for what happened with Richard but it seems he does not trust me. He is so convinced that I would leave him when I leave the country. He believes the only way we should go is if we both go together. So he wants me to rewrite the exams. That’s also something I don’t want to do. Because of this, he started acting out. The other day I saw a chat between him and a certain lady. I don’t know the nature of their relationship but the lady texted him, “I can’t wait to be your Mrs.” When I asked him about it, he said, “You expect me to wait for you for two years or however long it takes you to raise money to come for me? No, I can’t do that.” Now he is telling me to do whatever I want. He says he doesn’t care if I leave or stay.
I don’t know how to get him to understand that I don’t plan on leaving him. His behaviour has me concerned. I’m beginning to even think that he probably wants to use me to get to the UK so he can come back for this lady he is now talking to. I love him, and I don’t take for granted everything he has done for me, but he doesn’t believe me. How do I make him see it? Please I don’t know what to do. I need your advice.