I was in my first year at the university when he walked up to me. “You look like a girl I went to primary school with. What’s your name?” He asked. I didn’t know him. I didn’t even know anyone who looked like him but I indulged him. “ I am Naa,” I answered. He shook his head and said, “Then I am mistaken. The girl I went to school with is not Naa.” We didn’t say anything to each other after that....CONTINUE READING
Somewhere along the line, I got to know that he was also in his first year. I don’t know how it happened but we became friends within a short period of time. Our friendship grew to the point where we were so close. You wouldn’t see him anywhere without me in tow. Just as I wouldn’t show up at an event with his hands hooked to mine. We were two inseparable souls who made friendship appealing to others.
Although we were just friends, I developed feelings for him by the time we graduated from college. For the past four years, we had been so in sync that I was sure he also felt the same way about me. I expected him to express his feelings but he didn’t.
After waiting for his proposal for a while yet nothing happened, I told myself, “Maybe it’s not every close friendship with someone of the opposite sex that must turn into a love affair.” Another guy I was talking to proposed love to me and I accepted it. I knew he was a good guy so I could easily fall in love with him.
When I told Paul about my boyfriend he was not happy for me. He acted as if I stuck a knife in his chest. He said I broke his heart. I asked why and he answered, “I love you. Don’t you know that by now? I didn’t want to start anything with you while my girlfriend is still in the picture that’s why I didn’t say anything. But if you break up with this new guy you are dating, I will also end things with my girlfriend so we can be together.” It was a crazy suggestion but all is fair in love and war.
I came up with a flimsy excuse to break up with the guy I was seeing. He also called things off with his girl, and we got together. It was a long-distance relationship but it didn’t matter. We had been friends for four years and we knew each other very well. So it didn’t feel like a new relationship that needed to be nurtured.
What we had was mainly an extension of our friendship. It was interesting and we were both very comfortable with it. A while into the relationship, I had to pick up an order from the guy I broke up with. You know what they say about old flames. Things got out of control and we ended up getting intimate.
I regretted my actions the moment it ended. I cut off all ties with my ex and tried to move on with my relationship as though nothing had happened. Unfortunately, my conscience wouldn’t let me. Every time my boyfriend texted me, I panicked. Everything about our relationship felt like a lie.
The guilt was too much for me to bear. I decided I had to come clean so I could free myself from all the torment my actions were inflicting on me. I told him everything. How it happened and who I did it with. At first, he took it well. He didn’t get angry or sound hurt.
He said, “If you say you regret what you did and you don’t talk to him anymore then I forgive you.” Although he assured me that all was forgiven, our communication suffered.
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I didn’t want to lose him so I tried everything possible until things got back to normal again. Just when I thought we would look past everything and pick up the pieces of what was broken, he broke up with me. I loved him. I wanted him back. So I didn’t let him get away easily.
I kept apologizing until he took me back. I was scared of losing him again so when he raised the topic about my cheating again, I made fun of him and told him, “You took the whole thing too seriously. I was only joking.” He got offended because I said he took the story too much to heart and blocked me on WhatsApp.
I’ve been apologizing but nothing. I’ve cut ties with all my male friends just to let him know that I regret my actions deeply and that such a thing would never happen again, but he wants nothing to do with me again.
I’ve tried, Paul. I know I did you wrong. I know I hurt you mentally and emotionally. I also know that I am deeply sorry. I have learned my lessons the hard way. I hope you see this story and forgive me.
