Destiny must have felt she had seen a man to marry her and probably, unreservedly, given her all to the relationship she had come to believe would lead to marriage only for her pastor to reveal the actual status of her presumed fiancé – there is not just another woman, he also had two children. He hid these from her to keep her. Conversely, he wrapped her around his palms with just this simple sentence, “I want to marry you”. And obviously, she fell for it. Now she doesn’t know what to do after her findings….CONTINUE READING...CONTINUE READING
“I have never experienced heartbreak , because when I was a child I was sexually abused, and I hated men. I saw them as necessary devils. I don’t get emotionally attached to them. I would date and break up with them just like that.
“So when I started attending my new church, I went through their counseling section and became a better person afterward. It was the same church where I met this guy, he was a new member too. We attended the new converts class together and later to church worker’s training. Later he stopped attending church.
“By then we have started dating. He promised to marry me. And I think for the first time I was emotionally attached to him. I began to like him, but I was still afraid. Initially, I thought it was still my normal fear for men generally. Then I went for counseling, I told my pastor about him. Unfortunately, I have already started having sex with him since he said he would marry me. I stayed in his house sometimes and we attended his family functions together in uniform clothes. I know his family members.
“My pastor told me he was hiding something big from me, that there is another woman by his side and he has children. I was shocked. Now, I knew why I was not at ease with the thought of marrying him. I was supposed to be happy, right? But I wasn’t happy when I was with him. I always felt he was using me.
“My pastor called him to see him, and he came. When my pastor asked him about the other woman in his life, he said she was his wife, they were separated. Then my pastor asked him what will he do if his estranged wife decided to return, he said he would accept her back because he loves her. Hmmm! He told my pastor all this in my presence. My pastor asked him, what will he do about me. He said I should forgive him that he can’t marry more than one wife. Then why are you deceiving her, why did you promise to marry her? My pastor asked him. Then tears filled my eyes. It was flowing freely down to my cheeks.
“My pastor told me to be smart, now that I know the whole truth. But I am already pregnant. It’s as if my pastor perceived that I was pregnant because he didn’t ask me to leave him directly, he just said I should make smart decisions. I don’t know what to do. Since that day, I have not spoken to him, he has been calling me. I hate him so much. I am thinking of raising this child without a father. I don’t want to remove the baby. What should I do?
Dear Destiny, it is obvious the guy had no intention of marrying you in the first place, perhaps he was using you to cool off, pending when his wife returns. As it is, you are pregnant, you need to let him know about it even if you want to stop seeing him. Another thing, please don’t let in all that hate, forgive him for your own mental health sake. That is why women ought to be wary of men who are quick to make marital promises. Keeping the pregnancy is a good one but make sure you don’t bear the burden of the child’s care alone, get him committed, too.
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