A good friend of mine introduced Fiifi to me when we attended a musical concert in Accra. Fii, as I affectionately call him, was as innocent as a saint. It took no time for us to bond. And before I left the program, we were already talking about our lives. He asked me to be his girlfriend after two weeks. I had developed feelings for him by then so I said yes without any second thoughts…..CONTINUE READING...CONTINUE READING
When we introduced romance into our relationship, Fii showed me his true colours. And I liked what I saw. He never hid anything from me. One thing that made me fall flat for him was his spirituality. He never missed church, never forgot to pray, and always reminded me to take my spiritual life seriously.
I had intended to tell him that we will abstain from shuperu before marriage but he beat me to it. He brought up the topic before I got the chance to suggest it. I was surprised that a man would introduce that in a relationship. So I visited him twice and tested him to see if he was serious. I did a lot of things to entice him but the man stood his ground. It was the first time I had met a man like him. So I began to feel anxious. No one can be that good, you know?
I spoke to the friend who introduced us, “Please, tell me everything I need to know about Fii. I feel like he is too good to be true. Has he always been like this? Or is he faking it? What kind of Christian is he?” My friend laughed, “That’s Fiifi for you. He is so disciplined and lovely to be around.” She went ahead and told me things about him that I had already witnessed. One thing you should know is, “He can be very stubborn. He doesn’t bend easily when it comes to applying principles. That’s why I nicknamed him ‘Lawyer’,” she said.
Of course, I had seen the lawyer part of him and I had bested it with my femininity. Every time we got involved in an argument and he tried to prove he was right, I would give him a cold shoulder until he sees things my way. That is what I have always done, and it always worked. However, Fii told me one day, “AJ, the way you are is not good. If you don’t change you won’t be able to live with me. I am the kind of person who can live with you and not talk to you for ten years. So don’t think your cold attitude is a weapon you can use to get your way. I can do it ten times more than you. So change.”
This is why I was more than surprised when Fii proposed marriage shortly after we had this conversation. It was six months after our first meeting. It seemed too soon for me, so I asked him, “Is it not too soon?” He explained that he doesn’t want us to date for a long time. “You are the one for me, AJ. If we wait longer, we might end up fornicating. So let’s get married as soon as possible.” His logic made sense. I said yes to the proposal and we started planning our wedding.
We got married in December 2017. Everything was falling into place. I moved from Cape Coast to join him in Accra and I got a job immediately. I became pregnant in February, and he was the first person to even notice it. Pregnancy wasn’t easy, but with a husband like Fii, I went through it smoothly. I delivered in November and our happiness hit the roof. We’ve had our fair share of problems but we always solved them. None of them broke us until my husband started to complain about our child.
By then he was two, and he liked to play, especially with other children. So I often let him go and play with our neighbour’s children in their room. This is what my husband did not like. He would tell me, “AJ, don’t allow the baby to go and play in the neighbour’s room. I don’t like it.” I didn’t see anything wrong with it so I never took him seriously. Besides, we never argued about it. It was something he just said, and I chose to do what I believed the baby needed. I let him play with our neighbour’s children. My husband complained about it twice, but I didn’t mind him.
The next thing I knew, Fii started ignoring me. He stopped eating my food. He wouldn’t even have sex with me. He only spoke to me if I asked him a question. I became so lonely in the house, to the extent that it began to have a toll on me. It was an emotional torture that my own husband was taking me through. So one day, I packed my things from the room and left with my son for Cape Coast when he was not home.
He called my phone in the evening, but I did not respond. I was rather waiting for him to come and see my parents so that we would resolve the issue. Can you believe that it’s been a year and three months and my husband hasn’t come? He has neither called to check up on his son. Who does that?
Now I don’t know what to do. I can’t just go back to him. And I don’t know if we are still married or not. What should I do? I know he doesn’t want me anymore. The only thing keeping him in the marriage is that the church frowns on divorce. I am also not ready to call for a divorce. What should I do?…..CONTINUE READING
